I feel like I got a bit side-tracked last week. First, it was the abortion article and then the one about the Chinese martyrs. Both are a little off my main theme of providing proof for the Doubting Thomas in each of us. (Yet, in my past, often, the best and most useful Bible studies were the ones where we got totally off-track – onto something someone NEEDED rather than what was scheduled!) Anyway, back on track!
Hunger and Energy
The thing that brought me back to the Church was the yearning for the Eucharist. I knew what it felt like and felt the HUNGER like never before! I wanted that feeling again.
I feel auras – probably always have… When I have tried tai chi, I could feel my own life-energy rising into my fingers. Feels all tingly. If you’ve ever played or watched one of those first-person role-playing video games where there is a mage and he holds the ball of energy in his hands before using it… that’s what it feels like. It’s pretty awesome to feel, and once you’ve felt it, you want to feel it again! (It’s also called a chi ball or a psy ball according to who taught you.) This raw life force can become a healing energy when applied to a person. Undoubtedly, it can also be used in a bad way, but I don’t know anything about that. All it is is life force, nothing sinister, and nothing inherently spiritual or religious – definitely not simply new-agey. (Many images of Mary include a depiction of her aura – especially Our Lady of Guadaloupe – or, at least a halo – which is a concentrated image of her perfect aura.)
I grew up Lutheran, as I’ve said before. I remember feeling all amazing after communion. I never knew what it was until I was talking to an SSPX (Society of St Pius X) priest in England. (In some circles, they are still considered a schism, but their intention is genuine and should not be doubted.) He was explaining to me the history of Lutheranism. And though I grew up in the more liberal version of the church, it was still based on the “real presence” of the physical body and blood of Jesus Christ in the communion. This was why they still knelt to receive it (a trend which has waned over the years… in both churches.) I started suspecting that was the feeling I had come to expect with communion, the Real Presence.
For me, the faith element – that the Real Presence was there was satisfied when I asked to myself “Can God?” – I had to admit that, of course, He could. So, then, the only question was “Would God?” Again, I could not see why he would not if it would benefit his followers.
Upon being received into the Catholic Church, I was finally able to partake of the Body and Blood of our Lord. That euphoric feeling returned. Every time, without fail.
Effects of Sin
It’s hard to explain why I left the Church for that decade, except for the fact that sin brings other problems. One of two things happens when you leave the Fold… I’ve seen both. (Perhaps there are more options too.)
- When you stop worrying about what the Holy Spirit thinks, the Holy Spirit releases his hold on you… That was what happened to me. At the time, this felt freeing, but now, I understand what happened. (Thankfully, He does still keep his eye on you and tries to show you what you have rejected – waiting for you to be ready to return.)
- You begin to fear. Subconsciously, you fear damnation, but don’t want to feel this… So, as Yoda so rightly says: “Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to… suffering.” I have often seen this in Christian to Pagan converts… they develop almost a hatred of all things Christian. I never felt this, thankfully – and was always grateful for the different steps in my journey – but others very close to me did – and still do.
When the Buzz isn’t Enough
Being away for many years, and having developed my ability to feel the aura to the point that I understood what it was and could do it deliberately, I have returned with heightened feeling ability. The tingling starts as we start the anticipation of the Eucharist. But then, upon receiving the Body and Blood, it’s just amazing, flowing energy! My whole body just buzzes with the amazing energy of the Christ!
But for some, this is still not enough. Not everyone, after all, can feel this amazing energy. Some require, yet, more proof. What’s even more amazing is that God understands this need – and will occasionally provide it for us!
“Then he said to Thomas, ‘Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side; do not be faithless, but believing.’ Thomas answered him, ‘My Lord and my God!’ Jesus said to him, ‘Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe.'” (John 20:27-29)
Usually, it is when the priest is having a crisis in faith of his own. He wonders if it really is possible or likely for the seemingly-magical transformation to take place. Is it really just hocus pocus? (a phrase which originated in the Latin Mass, interestingly – and also named our popular game of Hokey Pokey – or Hokey Cokey if you’re in the UK. Thanks, Paul Harvey!)
Proof of the Pudding
Many times the Eucharist has responded to this doubt by becoming a flesh mess… on paper or cloth, in water… in someone’s mouth! The Vatican officially recognizes well over 100 of these occasions – meaning they are beyond reasonable doubt. (One recent case turned out to just be some pinkish bacteria.) Often then, the flesh refuses to decompose. It is, for all intents and purposes, ALIVE! They even pass scientific scrutiny (usually being handed to someone without the knowledge of what/where the sample came from.)
For me, as a lapsed Catholic even a few weeks ago, this was the “proof of the pudding” – the thing which made me most ashamed for leaving to begin with, but also made me yearn for it so much that I was in a hurry (yes, nearly ran, that very week) to get to Reconciliation so that I could receive our Lord once more! Even as a Lutheran, I looked forward to communion Sundays – it was usually only once or twice a month – I guess my body understood even when my head did not.
A Special Kind of Crazy
For the moment, as this is already a lengthy post, I will leave you with a few links to get your started on your own research. But, as weeks progress, I will include some of the most amazing Eucharistic miracles I can discover for you. I hope it will help you in your journey of faith regardless of whether you’re a Cradle Catholic, a Convert, a Revert, a lapsed Catholic or someone who is investigating what these crazy Catholics believe…
You say “crazy” like it’s a bad thing… but it’s not a bad thing to be crazy for the Eucharist – because once you understand what it is – and why you can believe in it… once you experience the miracle for yourself… you will become increasingly crazy for it – hungry for more. Because the Lord’s body is “true food” and His blood is “true drink.” He, himself told us as much and has repeatedly reaffirmed this in the miracles worked – and most of these are still observable to this day – you can go and visit the locations and learn about the miracle which was performed there.
Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day. For my flesh is true food and my blood is true drink (John 6:53-55).